it's a j thing: Archive

Morning Glory

Morning Glory with Rachel McAdams is amazing. This movie empowers me. Is that weird? She has all the strength and stamina to turn an entire show around, furthering her career. I want to do that. I want to make a difference in something. I want to stand out, be empowered and strong. I can do it. I want to do it. A show a month? But that means I’m gonna have to bust my butt everyday to have...

Sep 12th

Jul 28th

Runaway

For as strong as I think I am I have always ran away from my problems. When too many voices decide to talk at once I get in my car and drive… for a long time… in the opposite directions. Gives me a fresh start mentally I always thought. But does it? I can’t I go around the distractions and voices in my life? Why do I have to let everybody else’s voice over power my own?

May 26th

May 11th

Riding Solo

I need motivation. I need self pride. I need to be focused. I’m sick of moping! I’m sick of trying to make myself feel better, and not succeeding. I’m sick of putting on a fake smile. I’m sick of being around people. I’m sick of never making anyone happy when it’s not my job to begin with. My priorities are so fucked up, I can’t even stand it....

Apr 5th

It’s interesting. You go through break ups so many times in your life. The feeling kinda doesn’t change with each break up. Just the intensity of the pain. I sit here thinking of the person I’ve called every night to go to sleep, that I want to talk to that person. But then ya know, she’s not gonna make this better anymore like I thought she used to. No one can. Just Me....

Mar 28th

For now

When I sit around a fire for some reason I always feel relaxed and at home.. I wanna pull out my book, read and cozy up warm in my bed. I want to be at peace with my life, with where I’m going and who I am. I feel that I am yet like it feels like I’m missing something. But what? I’m being a good student the majority of the time, I have an amazing girlfriend and am in a growing...

Mar 6th

I want time alone. I want to get back to taking care of ME.

Feb 22nd

Today was one of those days where I wanted to lay in front of a fire and read. The wind was blowing and the rain was comin’ down consistantly. But just like any other Saturday there were things to do. Like go to the regional concert for the northwest valley. My sister made the band division. She’s been gone 2 days in a row to practice with this group. And has only had the music for a...

Feb 20th

Warm Fires and Sunsets

I need to share these emotions before I break down. I need to rationalize. I need to breathe. I fell asleep last night(tonight) at 9p after reading by a warm fire outside while watching the sunset, and doing homework on the cam with my amazing and sweet girlfriend and watching Despicable Me, of course. At midnight my Great Gma gets up to go to her “doctor’s appt,” I clarify...

Feb 14th

Believe It.

I know I can do this. I know I can concentrate on the things I need to do. I know I can block out all the negative around me so make more positive. I know I can go far. I know I can make everything I want possible. I know I can change my mood to what I want it to be. I know that I am my own destination. Now, all I need to do is believe it.

Feb 10th

Not Good Enough.

Yes, it’s been awhile. But trust me it’s not been because I haven’t had thoughts. Boy, have I ever had thoughts. School started. It’s been a long road since high school, academically. Freshman year of college I worked so hard. My life was, yet again, basketball and school. 3.8 as a freshman. I was truly proud of myself. But then I quit ball. I couldn’t do it any...

Jan 30th

Day by Day

Sickness is not helping the motivational process. With this new semester, and new year I am going to set little goals for myself. I have spent a very long time stressing about the overall goal and how I’m going to get there when in all reality it’s the day by day process that gets you there. So by Friday, March 12th: Goals: I will have a 3.0 GPA in school I will have worked out...

Jan 13th

Absent of Rules and Taboo

January 10, 2011 What a roller coaster. You know, today I started with the idea of a mug. Tall, cylindrical, round handle. I attempted this mug 4 times in one sitting at my wheel with no success. I consider myself a talented and growing artist, why could I not make this mug?! I let myself step away from the problem and rest, think, and EAT:) Why was I trying to make this ordinary, plain mug? Why...

Jan 11th

Note to Self

So when thinkin’ of stuff that could be sold, I think of popular or everyday items. So i.e. mugs. A regular cylindrical pottery piece with a handle. I’ve attempted this 3 times in the last hour with no success. I take a break for lunch. Think to myself: What am I doing wrong? I mead the clay, I center the clay, I slow my speed down, I use plenty of water. All technical things. So I...

Jan 10th

Let Creativity Thrive!

This year’s goal will be spent doing the things I love. Not the things I think are necessary. Pottery. Jewelry. Writing. There is so much to do. So much to say. But this is one thing I think the items will have to speak for themselves. :) Stay Tuned.

Jan 8th

2011 New Years Resolutions

1. Do not cuss as much 2. Work out everyday but Sunday with the La Fifi Club 3. Do Laundry once every week 4. Make one pottery item a week 5. Find a job 6. Save money 7. Do not miss class 8. Stay on track in school 9. Mantra: I am do THIS for ME

Jan 6th

Dec 30th

13,656 notes

Questions I Can Only Answer. Period.

My thoughts right now are driving me nuts. What to do? Where will I go? Both physically, mentally and emotionally. Do I have the right people in my life? Am I running my life in a bad way? How can I make this new year different? Better? Life changing? So many more things that shouldn’t be publicized, yet I feel should be. That if I put them out there my answer will be clearer. But I’m...

Dec 30th

Triple D

Dream: I want to lose weight. I want to be cheerful. I want to move away. I want to have a job. I want to follow my schedule alone. I want to be rich. I want all clothes that I try on to fit my body the way I want them to. I want someone to tell me how to fix my problems. Depression: I will sit here being depressed about my size and looks. I will not find solutions for my problems. I won’t...

Dec 29th

Day After Christmas

I’ve just spent the majority of the mornin’ working on my “studio.” It’s a small room in the front of my grandmother’s house that we have always called “the education room.” For Christmas last year my family gave that room to me to have for my pottery and art. I’ve worked on it off and on for the past year and a few months ago I finally put my...

Dec 26th

One day...

Today, the family and I went skiing up at Eldora Resort. It’s a fun series of slopes close to Nederlands, CO. I small battered old road leads drivers to this area outside of Boulder. You would notice all this little cabins alongside the mountain, and I wondered how these people were able to live here. Just like any part of CO, but I would think even more so, these people have to worry about...

Dec 23rd

Good Karma

You know, I try to do the little things that are supposed to pass on good will and happiness. For example, letting cars get into my lane during traffic, smiling at someone as they pass you by, hold a door open for someone a little farther behind you. And even though it is good just to do these little things for no added benefit, I wonder when will my good karma kick in? lol Now when I have this...

Dec 23rd

You hold back for so long. And then you finally...

Dec 21st

Over and Over Again

You know when you here a song and it triggers a certain memory for you that you can remember right down to the breaths you were taking? Over and Over Again by Nelly feat. Tim McGraw is just one of those songs for me. I remember what summer it was, what city I was in, how the moths in the room I was staying in overwhelmed me every single night, how I could not get you out of my mind. It was a...

Dec 21st

"You've heard of the British Nation, well this is...

So, my mother and I are watching Miracle on 34th Street and Santa Claus is explaining to Susie, the little girl, that you can be an animal in a zoo or fly south with a flock of geese. I had my own world when I was younger, sometimes I think I’m still in my little world. Full of positivity, and dreams and long winding roads to follow, and endless array of books to visit on a daily basis. An...

Dec 20th

Wishful Thinkin'

Do you wish sometimes that you could freeze time, step out of your body and see what you are doing? Not just physically, in the moment, but with your life. I wish I could stop time as I’m sitting here in the car my dad is driving, while my brother and sister are messing around in the back seat, and evaluate where I am. There’s something about Colorado that always makes me so...

Dec 19th